Wednesday, August 12, 2009

i miss him despite everything he's done to me.
i just want him back. FUCK MY LIFE... -_____-

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i'm fucking frustrated. i just wanna run away.
mm... it hurts and it's hard to move on...
i hate it, i hate it, i hate it...


mm... i'm scared.
scared for the next time i talk to him or see him...
it's only gonna make me miss him more and more.

no one understands though. everyone just tells me
to get over him and shit. i hate it when everyone
says that. i mean, be in my fucking position then
see if you can tell me to get over it. there's just too
many things going on at once. i just want him there
to make things better like he used to do... mm.....

i want things back to how they were... i want him
to stop hurting me. i want everything to just stop.

i hate life. i really do... there's just too much
confusion and mixed feelings about EVERYTHING
in life. especially my life. everything is just so
spontaneous and unexpected. but it isn't a good thing
it drives me crazy and it makes me hurt. lately,
nothing has been getting better for me. i mean, i can
talk to paul now. well, atleast he thinks i can...


i just want to be in a empty room with four white walls
and no door. a soundproof room... that separates me
from everyone else. from the whole entire world... so
i can cry and live. i wont have to worry about anything
i won't have friends or boys or anything around... no
drama... nothing at all. just me... so i can let my
feelings out through crying and not get bitched at
an questioned for crying..... mmm.... God, SAVE ME -_-
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1 comment:

  1. thao0oAugust 12, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    i have to go against what you're saying here. i think you're being ridiculous. you're saying everyone's telling you to move on and that you hate that and you're expecting them to be in your shoes, but really, if you were in their shoes, what else can you say beside "hey move on, you're too good for him?" i can say that you can cry for as long as you want, but only if after so much crying you realize that you're so done with it. YOURE NOT DOING THAT. you cry so much that you'd hurt yourself. if i were your mom, i'd be pissed at you too.

    you're saying no one understands you? im sure EVERYONE knows how you feel. EVERYONE went through this same damn process. However, they were able to pick themselves up and let go. They didn't throw away all the pieces and just walk out and say "hey life, im gonna fucking give up on you because you treat me like a piece of shit" instead they're probably saying "hey life, thanks for this experience, now i know never to go near those types of guys again. and thanks for making me suffer because now i will know how to appreciate joy when it comes my way."

    Hey, i went through this. and you told me that im better than that and that i can just find someone else. and i'd probably say the same to you, but add a little more of my experience and that is: you can cry for as long as you want WHEN YOURE ALONE. but when you're in front of people, act like youre happier than a freaking bird with a piece of french fry. ONCE YOURE USED TO THAT, then you don't even know how to cry when you're alone. you just know that you're so happy, you're so glad that you have your friends to depend on, and your mom is there for you.

    really, MOVE ON. you're 16. there's the rest of your life left and a bunch of guys waiting just to walk past you, just to get your attention. stop meddling into his life and start planning and making yours BETTER. thank the people that told you to move on because at least they took a little time out of their busy lives to advise you, to guide you, to lead you to the BETTER path of life.

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